So as promised…uh…two weeks ago…here’s what I did for the weekend before Halloween.
First I went to Ross and poked around until I found a lovely white formal dress with a cute shiny pin.
Then I went to Walmart and purchased a baby doll.
I did a little sewing, a little tucking with batting, and some pouring of latex.
And then a baby exploded out of my stomach.
That’s right, I went to the Denver zombie crawl where myself and 16-30,000 of my closest friends dressed up in our gruesome best and strolled around the 16th street mall stumbling, wobbling, snarling, and spitting up blood from capsules (oh god those things are awful).
It turns out when people see a woman with bloody arms sticking out of her belly and hear the ghostly sound of screaming (the stupid doll was supposed to wave its arms, too but it didn’t so all it did was cry for four hours)… they get a little bit startled and unnerved.
People get sort of freaked out and a lot of people were actually sort of offended which I think is funny since I thought the whole point of these things was to be creative and gruesome.
On the plus side, I couldn’t get people to stop photographing me. I sat down at one point and about 60 people darted in for my picture.
Which was of course flattering…except that I was wearing shorts under my little dress and kept forgetting to sit like a lady.
I only had one panic attack and that was when some moron decided to make his fake gun pop right next to my ear. It freaked me out and I had to go hide in a corner. Fortunately my friends had liquor and someone handed me a “Sunkist” bottle of Orange Rum.
Then I requisitioned my Mango Rum flask and strolled for the rest of the day taking swigs and it was glorious. Especially when people who I suspect thought I was really pregnant looked horrified at my flask usage.
In other news I’m working on NaNoWriMo…which is why I haven’t been able to come up with anything too terribly entertaining for you all to guffaw at. Sigh. So here’s what I can come up with for now and I shall try to have a traumatic event soon so you can all be entertained.