I own fifteen thermometers


I’ve always been sort of a brave trooper big huge baby when sick. Mom would wrap me up in a blanket and I could watch all the TV I wanted to on the couch, and sleep as much as I wanted, and she’d make me delicious toast and anything else I could eat (my appetite is the first to go when I’m getting sick). It was like being Queen for a day.

One thing that always stuck though was the “only REALLY sick when there’s a fever” idea. I always gave myself permission to miss school if my temperature was 100. My normal temperature runs around 96.5/97 so 100 feels like I’m dying.

I caught H1N1 during our fancy Pandemic (there’s quite a story behind that) and had a 104 degree temperature…I literally felt like I needed to go to the hospital and/or was going to die.

I check my temperature all the time (I just now took it because I have a headache and it’s 99). Sometimes I know I’m about to get sick because I’ll have a high fever before symptoms start. While I’m sick I check my temperature constantly as a litmus test for how sick I can whine about being.

So, I’m a little obsessed with thermometers. The problem is I keep losing them. I’ve moved six times in the last three years and every time my thermometers vanish. Oh, they return, but never when I want them. So I keep buying new ones.

I have about fifteen thermometers squirreled away in multiple known and unknown locations. If I die and someone searches my room they’re going to wonder if I was running some sort of black-market temperature-taking operation.


5 responses »

  1. Ha! I thought I had H1N1 once during the nationwide panic, so I self-isolated for a week like my university health service told me to, with a continuous fever of 102. I was using the old-fashioned mercury thermometer incorrectly. Most unintelligent week of my life.

  2. I may or may not have 15 thermometers. I think it is probably closer to three, but since I can’t find them I can’t count them.

    What ever the number I believe I have three times as many little nail clippers. But once again, since I don’t freaking know where they are, I’m having to rely on memory. Which, as proven by the fact that I don’t remember anything is, could probably be described as spotty. The memory, not the nail clippers.

    • My fifteen was definitely an estimate, I can’t find and count ’em all either. I probably own about three nail clippers but I will be damned if I can find a SINGLE one.

Wow, I can even change the prompt? Neat. Talk to me!

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